OK, so maybe I have a problem.
I’m not sure how it started, really. I’m sure it was innocent enough to begin with, but it’s now got to the point where I don’t even have a handle on how much things are getting out of control and I’m too scared to face up to reality.
My name is Kate Knightley and I own an excessive amount of yarn.
I think it might be taking over my house. I’m pretty sure I can stand in any room and, if I look carefully enough, find evidence of my addiction. Plus there’s all of the stuff I have hidden away. I have two large bureau drawers dedicated to concealing my stash and I think I have the problem contained, but then sometimes I uncover random Lincraft bags chock-full of lambswool/alpaca blend.
It frightens me.
And worse than just the wool – the half finished projects. Oh! The shame! They glare at me reproachfully from the various places I’ve tried to hide them. They call to me: Kate! Kate! Only three more rounds and I would have been complete! Kate! Don’t you love me?
I’ve tried to be good. Really, I have. So many of my recent projects have used up stash wool rather than new wool. I’ve tried to be creative and figure out ways to work with what I’ve got. But it doesn’t seem to help. It’s like Strega Nona broke into my stash and stirred it up with her magic wooden spoon. It’s like the Magic Pudding of stashes. It doesn’t make a difference how much of it I consume. It doesn’t get any smaller.
Mr Knightley has his suspicions, but he doesn’t know how bad things really are. I have been guilty of concealing my (necessary and perfectly legitimate) yarn purchases from him (“this old skein? I’ve had this for ages”).
But now it’s time to face reality. I’m going to get all the yarn I can find together and take a picture. This might be a little disturbing:
Oh! The shame! It’s only in a heart shape because Christopher Robin helped me collate it all (“You love your wool, really, Mum”)
And here are the dud projects:
Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!
And here’s what makes it all much worse: I want to buy more. I want to buy so much more.
This weekend I went to Healesville with my husband of twelve years and we spent some blissful time exploring markets and second-hand shops sitting in lovely cafes all without the company of our children, who, delightful as they are, tend to have grabby hands and an electron-like capacity of being in many places they shouldn’t be all at once.
I got the chance to feast my eyes on some gorgeous hand-made baby clothes and it gave me a desperate case of the wanties. My fingers started itching to create some adorable hats and jackets for the twins and none of the yarns I already own are quite what I am looking for.
I’m beginning to fantasise about gender-neutral pallettes in rich, unusual colours tempered with soft greys and creams all in finger-weight yarn. Or large balls of thick, soft, natural-coloured wool. Or the vivid, jewel-bright colours of Rowan DK or Debbie Bliss yarn (I’ve never actually owned these brands, but everybody on the internet seems to use them and the colours are to die for).
Did you know you can order yarn online and they deliver to your door? Can you imagine what it would be like to open a parcel and find it full of delicious wool? I was chatting about this with my husband on the weekend (we were eating lunch in a Healesville café and I’d just seen the inside of this amazing store). His eyes were a little glazed over for most of the conversation (“granny square matinee jacket” / “New Zealand possum yarn” / “new method for edging blankets’), but he snapped back to reality when I mentioned purchasing yet more wool.
“What are the names of these websites?” he asked, with concern wrinkling his eyebrows, “perhaps I should put a block on them…” and then he went on, talking about “my own good” and “saving me from myself” and “seeking professional help”. I’m not sure – I wasn’t really listening. My mind was exploring colours and textures and exciting new projects.
It’s sweet that he cares about me, but he really doesn’t need to be concerned. It’s fine. I can stop at any time.
Plus I bet I can get a discount for ordering in bulk.
Do you have a wool or craft stash that is getting out of control? Please photograph and/or write about it and we can
enable link to each other. This is a safe place. There is no judgement here.